The Scaffold Effect: Raising Resilient, Self-Reliant, and Secure Kids in an Age of Anxiety (Hardcover)
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Prevent and counteract the general anxiety and emotional fragility prevalent in children and teenagers today—a new parenting philosophy and strategies that give children the tools to flourish on their own.
“A master synthesizer of attachment science, medical practice, and his own experience as a father, Harold Koplewicz capably and compassionately leads us through the art of scaffolding, from early childhood through the important adolescent period.”—Daniel J. Siegel, MD, author of The Whole Brain Child
Just as sturdy scaffolding is necessary when erecting a building and will come down when the structure grows stable, good parenting provides children with steady and warm emotional nourishment on the path toward independence. Never-ending parental problem-solving and involvement can have the opposite effect, enabling fragility and anxiety over time.
In The Scaffold Effect, world-renowned child psychiatrist Harold Koplewicz introduces the powerful and clinically tested idea that this deliberate build-up and then gradual loosening of parental support is the single most effective way to encourage kids to climb higher, try new things, grow from mistakes, and develop character and strength. Explaining the building blocks of an effective scaffold from infancy through young adulthood, he expertly guides parents through the strategies for raising empowered, capable people, including:
• Lay a solid foundation: The parent-child relationship needs to be made from the concrete mixture of emotional availability, positive reinforcement, clear messaging, and consistent rules. From this supportive base, your will forge a bond that will survive adolescence and grow stronger into adulthood.
• Empower growth: Skyscraper or sprawling ranch—the style of your child’s construction is not up to you! Scaffold parenting validates and accommodates the shape the child is growing into. Any effort to block or control growth will actually stunt it.
• Stay on their level: Imagine being on the ground floor of a house and trying to talk to someone on the roof. The person on the roof will have to “talk down” to you or yell. If your child’s building and your scaffold are on the same level, you can speak directly, look each other in the eye, and keep the lines of communication open.
Drawing on Dr. Koplewicz’s decades of clinical and personal experience, The Scaffold Effect is a compassionate, street-smart, and essential guide for the ages.
All of the author’s proceeds from the sale of this book will be donated to the Child Mind Institute.
About the Author
Harold S. Koplewicz, MD, is one of the nation’s leading child and adolescent psychiatrists. The founding president and medical director of the Child Mind Institute in New York City and San Mateo, California, he has been repeatedly named in America’s Top Doctors, Best Doctors in America, and New York magazine’s Best Doctors in New York. He has appeared on Today, CBS News, CNN, The Oprah Winfrey Show, and Anderson Cooper 360°, and he is quoted regularly in the New York Times, USA Today, and The Wall Street Journal. He lives with his wife in New York City.
“With a unique mix of personal anecdote and professional insight, [Dr. Koplewicz] breaks with received wisdom, delivers up some eye-opening surprises—and sends the greatly reassuring message to parents that, if we take care of ourselves, our kids will be okay.”—Judith Warner, author of And Then They Stopped Talking to Me and Perfect Madness
“The Scaffold Effect is written with so much understanding and so much sympathy, for both children and their parents. Harold Koplewicz brings science and clinical experience together with his own family experiences to create a book that is always practical and compassionate, and manages to be firm, gentle, and encouraging in all the right ways.”—Perri Klass, MD, professor of journalism and pediatrics at NYU and author of A Good Time to Be Born: How Science and Public Health Gave Children a Future
“Scaffold parenting . . . shares the ‘sweet spot’ between permissive and controlling parenting . . . (and) reminds caregivers that it is never too late to help your children become the best versions of themselves, which is all any parent can hope for.”—Booklist
“This compassionate, witty, and street-smart guide to helping kids become independent young adults is a gift to parents everywhere. Harold Koplewicz gives us the tools to build strong, safe support around our children, and then trust that they will launch all the better for it and grow into their own destiny.”—Catherine Steiner-Adair, EdD, author of The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age
“Drawing on decades of clinical expertise and an organization that does some of the most compelling research on kids and mental health in this country, Dr. Koplewicz has written a practical, engrossing, and singularly useful book. Healthy adults don’t just happen.”—Madeline Levine, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of The Price of Privilege andTeach Your Children Well
“In this era of searing fear and uncertainty, and out of the turbulent sea of contradictory parenting advice, emerges, blessedly, Harold Koplewicz’s authoritative counsel. A true giant of child psychiatry, Koplewicz has condensed his immense knowledge, wisdom, and experience into a practical and actionable plan. The Scaffold Effect is an instant classic, a godsend for us all.”—Edward M. Hallowell, author of Driven to Distraction and ADHD 2.0
“The Scaffold Effect is an engaging, practical, and even humorous guide through the challenges and opportunities of parenting.”—Daniel J. Siegel, MD, New York Times bestselling co-author of The Whole-Brain Child
“Full of vivid examples of the evergreen effectiveness of scaffolding—the best way to support children as they grow (and grow away from us)—it’s a book for the ages.”—Wendy Mogel, New York Times bestselling author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee